Career and Kids

On daycare

by elizabeth on November 7th, 2007

Recently, a friend told me that she was really grateful for the advice I gave her a few years ago when she was having guilt about sending kids to daycare.

I have no recollection of dispensing wisdom to my friend back then, but, I’m glad I said something that was helpful to her back then.

My philosophy is that everyone has their own reality. It is neither inferior nor superior to the next person’s reality.

My reality, and, that of many other people, is that I must work. I don’t really spend a whole lot of time pondering it, I just do it, and, it is what it is.

I go to work at a job at a place that is not my home, I come home, and, then I do it again. It’s what pays the bills, and, provides our insurance. If I get any personal fulfillment out of it, then I consider it a bonus.

I’m not angling to work at home because it’s “unfair that families have to choose”. My job can’t be done from home, that’s just the reality of it.

Therefore, while I’m at work, my children must be somewhere, and, that somewhere for several years was daycare. I do realize that we were very lucky to have had a place that we loved, and, all 3 of my kids (even with the age gap) had the same teachers.

Despite the standard cliches against it which I’m not going to address, you know, the musical strains of the “why did she even have kids if she was just going to let strangers raise them?” crowd, I have to say that it’s time for someone to speak out, and, tell these young parents in my situation, that it’s OK.

Having kids in daycare, if that’s your reality, is OK.

Assuming that you have made a daycare choice you are comfortable with, there’s some really good things about it, even if you wish you didn’t have to be there.

But, as long as you are there, try to enjoy what it has to offer. It’s OK.

First, it can be a lot of fun to have another adult who thinks your kid is pretty cool. It’s nice to have someone to chat with about all the great things your child can do.

I also love to see how even very young children form friendships. When they get older, it’s great to see them “hang out” with their buddies at “school”. It’s OK that “school” is daycare. It really is.

There’s lots of hugs at the end of the day, and, sometimes, the kids are having so much fun, they don’t want to leave.

Daycares often works so hard to make holidays special, it’s a lot of fun to see what they’ve learned and experience the “big day” with your child and their teachers. I’m always up for more parties or a Thanksgiving feast.

I could keep going, but, my point is that everything about daycare (and being a working parent, for that matter) doesn’t have to be filled with angst.

There’s always going to be someone who will judge your childcare decisions, no matter what they are, and, if you choose daycare that you are comfortable with, it’s OK.

It might even turn out to be some fun if you let it.

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POSTED IN: Career and Kids, Childcare