Halloween costumes and the “Mommy Wars”
When I was growing up, my mother helped me get together a Halloween costume each year.
Usually, it was simply made of things we had around the house. It wasn’t any sort of statement, it was just a costume, and, probably more cost effective than the really cool “store bought” costumes that I discovered later.
So, some years, I had a “homemade” costume, while other years, I had a generic “cover-all” style costume, and, whatever uncomfortable mask came in the shiny box with the cellophane window.
I could be wrong, but, back then a costume was just a costume, and, it didn’t feel like the measure of parenting devotion that it does today.
Somewhere along the line, though, at times, it seems like the Halloween costume issue has become yet more fuel added to the “Mommy Wars” fire.
In some circles, “store bought” costumes are looked upon with disdain as the domain of working mothers who don’t/can’t take time to lovingly create a costume for their little ones. While “homemade” costumes are created by mothers who don’t work outside the home, and, have the time to provide “only the best” for their children.
While those particular depictions are certainly exaggerated stereotypes, there can be some subtle element of truth to the sentiments from both perspectives. We’ve all seen it, or something like it. I hate it that it can crop up over something as innocent as a Halloween costume, though.
I work full time, and, my kids have always had the costumes they wanted, and, it so happens they’ve been store bought costumes. I really don’t think much about it, but, the fact is that other people might, I don’t know.
Work or not, I have no idea if I could make a costume to their specifications, but, I would certainly try if they wanted me to make one. But, I doubt they would, when there’s so much excitement to be purchased in the Target Halloween aisle starting in August or something insane like that.
Anyway, I’m too busy working on my own costume to deeply ponder other peoples’ Halloween costumes.
If you can keep a secret, I’m going to carry a backpack full of oatmeal. I’m going as “Haulin’ Oats”.
Get it? Hall and Oates?
Yes, I’m old. I know.
But, so are my friends.
********************************************************
That’s right! Today’s yet another Blogtoberfest Day here at Career and Kids, and, there’s a prize lurking behind this very entry.
Just leave a comment for your chance to win! Pretty easy, huh?
Really, all you have to do is leave a comment, and, that is your entry to win! Winner will be announced within a week, so check back often to see who won.
Be sure to look around the other b5media Family and Relationships Channel blogs for other chances to win, now, through October 19th, 2007.
Don’t forget, I’m also at GenBetween, watch for prizes over there, too, during Blogtoberfest!
Update: Winner announced here.
Tags: Career and Kids, Hall-and-Oates, halloween, Halloween-costumes, Mommy-Wars, working-motherRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Holidays and Kids
30 opinions for Halloween costumes and the “Mommy Wars”
Aimee
Oct 18, 2007 at 6:58 am
Every year I vow to make my children’s costumes but it always seems as if I run out of time. I always end up searching for store bought ones at the last minute.
Angela
Oct 18, 2007 at 8:02 am
I’ve seen the what you’re talking about, and I hate it. DS has his costume from Toys R Us (9 months old) and DD has a mix of store bought and home-made the past couple of years (11 yrs old) She gets the cool store bought and then adds, takes away or generally alters it to make it even “cooler” I doubt I could make either kid a costume if I tried.
flybunny
Oct 18, 2007 at 8:26 am
I had one costume made but since then have bought - they love to pick them out and can peruse the costume shop for hours - that being said, I used to love to make my own costumes and was pretty creative and won a couple of costume contests with the help of my Dad who was the engineer behind the ideas - I wish I had passed that gene along to my daughters.
My Buddy Mimi
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:44 am
No joke, I went for years thinking that the band was actually called “Haulin’ Oats.” I also didn’t understand the expression “human bean.” I guess I’m a little slow…
Slartibartfast
Oct 18, 2007 at 10:41 am
Since they were about 5 or six, my kids have made their own. We’ve never thought that much about it - part of the fun for the kids is going through closets, or to thrift stores to find camo pants or my son’s army outfit, or a petite scrub top for my daughter’s doctor outfit.
They accessorize themselves.
This year, my daughter is going as an “old lady”. I’ve warned her already, don’t try to take your mother’s clothes ;)
Florinda
Oct 18, 2007 at 1:23 pm
I think your costume will be AWESOME! :-)
It seems like everything has been caught up in the “Mommy Wars” these days, and it’s ridiculous. Halloween costumes, birthday parties…things that are “officially” for the kids but end up being more about parental competition. You’re right about those stereotypes; they may be exaggerated, but they don’t go away because there IS an element of truth to them.
Cathy
Oct 18, 2007 at 1:28 pm
We actually had a movie based costume theme for our family this year and one by one, the children are breaking off and doing a different costume. Oh, well.
Meredith
Oct 18, 2007 at 1:53 pm
I’m on the stay-at-home side of this fence. Like most one-income families, we have more time than money, hence the homemade costumes. Is there pride in the result? Yes, but I’d say it’s more of the “look what we came up with!” variety than the “sniff, sniff, not storebought” kind.
My son would love to go into Target and buy the shiniest, most suffocatingly plastic character costume there. Fortunately (unfortunately?), that’s $12 better spent elsewhere in our household budget.
Ellen
Oct 18, 2007 at 2:01 pm
Luckily my child is too young to care. This year for him, I’m attaching some black fabric, cut in a zig-zag, to a yellow shirt. Follow me? Charlie Brown! I have a snoopy stuffed animal to drive home the point.
bebemiqui
Oct 18, 2007 at 3:14 pm
my daughter is using a costume my mom made for me as a child.
Marsha
Oct 18, 2007 at 3:26 pm
My little one wants to wear the same store bought costume she wore last year. I honestly took her to look at new costumes, but she just loves her costume so much (a Jaguar) rrrrrrrroarrrrrrrrrr. If I were to sew her a costume it certainly would not look better than the store bought ones.
Laura
Oct 18, 2007 at 4:12 pm
Nothing fancy for us this year. I have a 2 month old so he doesn’t care. He will be a hand me down store bough bunny.
Sara
Oct 18, 2007 at 4:28 pm
I think there is just too much pressure laid on us parents for Halloween….What happened to the anything goes days of my youth?
Lindley
Oct 18, 2007 at 6:00 pm
We had homemade costumes growing up, mostly because there were 4 of us and it was too expensive. My son is 3 and determined to be a duck so we went Target this year-plus with all his preschool activities and parties he will be wearing at least 3 times before Halloween! Maybe we will make it when e gets older and wants to be something more creative.
lace
Oct 18, 2007 at 8:10 pm
When I was growing up our costumes where things we could find around the house also. I think I had one or two store bought costumes in my whole life. I think using items from home in a creative manner is more fun than buying a costume.
Nicole
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:34 pm
I had homemade costumes as a kid, but they were a LOT simpler than some of the costumes I’ve seen parents make since then - for example, a big orange hunting vest and a green hat turned me into a pumpkin. A lot of the time I made my own, maybe with some help but it was primarily my project.
Christine
Oct 18, 2007 at 9:37 pm
I would never make my son wear something I made! I inherited my mother’s sewing capabilities & as a child myself I witnessed my mother try to sew the slit in her skirt….she made shorts….not her original intentions but funny just the same. I enjoy watching my son(7year) go thru catalogs, websites and decide what he wants to be. I have no say anymore anyways. If I did it would be Winnie the Pooh every year.
Caryn
Oct 19, 2007 at 1:30 am
I am sooo not creative in that way so my son would be better off (and he is going to be Tigger this year) with a store bought costume
Mimipz5wjj
Oct 19, 2007 at 6:28 am
I hear ya. I can’t remember how many times I was a gypsy or pirate — easy costumes.
It was always fun making our Halloween Costumes — Now, cha-ching!
Ginny Brewster
Oct 19, 2007 at 6:44 am
I cannot sew, so I always buy. There have been a few years when I was able to use dance costumes & add things to make it work. One year my daughter wore one & was a doll, and my other daughter was a fairy. This year my daughter has a dance costume & will be a pop star & then the other is wearing a genie dance costume. That one was easy though, didn’t need anything extra. I love the great homemade costumes though that people actually sew, lol.
Jennifer
Oct 19, 2007 at 7:21 am
I don’t know, no matter what, I just love Halloween, and I love getting the kids all excited about it!!!
lcreekmo
Oct 19, 2007 at 8:04 am
First, I hate Halloween. I guess I liked getting candy as a kid, but once I was old enough to get out of participating, I did. Just call me Hallo’Scrooge.
Of course, you know that means my daughter [and initial evidence indicates, even my 2yo son] LOVES dressing up.
When she was two, I made her a red horse, at her request. The pink elephant I made her at three was quite the sewing masterpiece, if I say so myself.
The 2yo is wearing his sister’s horse costume this year, assuming I can find the dang thing.
But after the pink elephant [trunk and everything…it was awesome], she went store-bought on me. It’s not all bad — I do work full time and so I was staying up into the wee hours for days ahead of time to make these masterpieces. But store-bought costumes feel unoriginal to me. Oh well. At least _I_ don’t have to wear them. :)
JayMonster
Oct 19, 2007 at 8:10 am
As Halloween has grown as a holiday, the expense that goes along with it has grown too, which to a certain extent I find annoying, but on the other hand, if you look at the decorations and such I have, it is people like me that have fueled its growth.
That being said, I have always purchased my daughter’s costume, though it has never been one of those “coveralls and a mask” type.
We encountered one smug mother, when my daughter was in Kindergarten that was like the people you describe. A snarky, “all women belong in the home and not working” type that extolled to my wife and I how she was able to make her daughter’s costume because she was home and able to tend to her needs. I simply responded, that I was quite happy that we could afford to buy our daughter the costume she wanted, and it didn’t look like it came from a second hand store.
End of problem since she now no longer speaks to us (well me anyway).
Gayla McCord
Oct 19, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Cute idea. I’ve always had fun making costumes and doing makeup etc. I do like the simple ones that keep people guessing. Like the cereal boxes with plastic knives stuck through all over a t-shirt for the cereal killer and your haulin’ oats one too.
It takes a real creative mind to come up with those.
abdepot » Blog Archive » Halloween costumes and the “Mommy Wars”
Oct 20, 2007 at 3:45 am
[…] from David Webb of the Dallas Voice […]
Cathy
Oct 20, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Halloween, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, they are supposed to be, fun. Do what you want, buy what you want, who cares what other mothers think? Think about it, Do you think about other mothers shortcomings or over acheivements? Life is too busy to worry about this crap! Just have fun, pick out or sew or duct tape something together, eat too much candy, feel buzzed and move on to the next party!
Second Blogtoberfest Winner
Oct 25, 2007 at 6:18 pm
[…] the winner from the second Blogtoberfest entry […]
Rhonda J
Oct 26, 2007 at 8:00 am
This is the first year that I have attempted a homemade costume for my 10 year old who wants to be a dead bride. Gruesome, I know. We bought a fancy dress from Goodwill, tore it up a bit and soaked it in tea and coffee grinds to age it. Her veil (much to her chagrin) is a headband with an ugly table runner from the dollar store glued on. It looks like it has been in a coffin. Sewing is seriously out of my skills range.
I have to laugh though - years ago my brother and I were looking through pictures and found one where he and I were dressed up for trick or treating and he had on a white sheet and a Jaws mask (it was the mid-70’s). I asked, “What were you? The ghost of Jaws?” His reply, “Mom SUCKED at costumes.” So I come by it honestly.
Last Blogtoberfest Winner
Oct 28, 2007 at 8:52 pm
[…] the winner from the second Blogtoberfest entry […]
b5 Halloween Articles
Oct 30, 2007 at 7:22 pm
[…] Halloween Costumes and the Mommy Wars […]
Have an opinion? Leave a comment: