Career and Kids

Career Ambition After Having Kids

by elizabeth on June 30th, 2007

The latest “Speak Your Mind” topic on Work It, Mom is, “Have you become less ambitious about your career and personal goals since having kids?”

What an interesting question.

My first thought was, “I wonder if someone would ask a working father that?” I’m not sure, why I felt that way, but, at first it seemed to imply that ambition was optional for women, and, they could opt out of they chose, while fathers had to maintain their level of ambition.

Then, I realized I was equating it to making money.

Analyze away, I’m not sure what that means, especially since I make the greater salary in our house.

But, in reality, a father could change their ambitions after having kids just like a mother could, so, don’t yell at me, I was just confessing my thought processes.

As for my own situation, my biggest change occurred after having my youngest child, but, it was kind of done for me.

When I went out on maternity leave, I held a director position, however, shortly after my return, my position was eliminated (health care, you know the drill), and, I had to scramble for a job.

I ended up taking a low key job for much less money because, well, I needed a job sort of quickly.

At first, the lack of money, and, lack of authority was tough to get used to. My favorite saying was, “But, I used to be somebody!”

However, somewhere along the line, I think it was when my mother got sick, it became very apparent to me why that job came into my life, and, I am forever grateful since, at the time, I had no idea of the extent of the squeeze I was about to enter.

Looking back on it, I also now know there was no way I could have maintained that pace, and, been with my children, and, my parents in the way I needed to be. There have seriously been days where my sole ambition was, “go to the job”, and, that would have been a bit career limiting in other positions.

It was still hard to get used to, but, once I did, there was no turning back. My current job may not be the most challenging thing I’ve ever done, but, it is exactly what I need in my life with young children, and, an aging parent right now.

I now joke that, much to the dismay of my one employee, the “management” section of my brain no longer functions, and, now I struggle to remember to do her yearly evaluation, when I once did more than 100 each year.

I also secretly make fun of the crowd I once ran with as they spend lots of time and energy validating each other’s importance as administrators.

Please know that I’m not evaluating your situation as a parent who strives to advance in the workplace. In fact, I probably need to resurrect some of that drive.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t care about my job, I do, and, it’s important to me to do it well. If something else came my way that offered the same advantages, and, a higher “rank”, sure I’d do it.

So, that was a long, fluffy answer to the question, but, the short answer is “yes” my career ambitions did change after having kids, some people might say they’re “less”, and, it was the right thing for me.

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